we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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