Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
