I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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