We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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