i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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