Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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