dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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