The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
