the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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