how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
