I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Pooping to opera.
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