im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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