so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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