I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
