this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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