Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dick very happy bro
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
