I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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