Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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