Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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