i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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