3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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