So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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