Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
