im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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