Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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