We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
