She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Are we still banned from the library?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
