i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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