Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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