I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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