i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
