I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
