I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
