id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize