I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
