After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's the barista slut.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
True strength comes from lack of pants
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
