if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize