no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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