Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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