David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
