i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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