is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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