ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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