Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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