I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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