I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
