I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
