I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how does that bad decision feel?
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