just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She bit a glass in half.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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