I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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