Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
