So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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