This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
be right there i have to get my cape
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
