What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
