Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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