we have officially lost it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
