similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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