Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
