Pappa wants mamma naked
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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