i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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