Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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