Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
