I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
