I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Randomize
