he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
